On Cameras

I’m camera shy. Also, I don’t consider myself particularly photogenic. But whenever I’m out for a special occasion with friends and family, I join, albeit reluctantly, in the group pictures and videos. Why? The camera provides souvenirs to my future self on the memories I have been able to create with people I deem important in my life.

It’s proof of evidence that I existed. That I was loved. That I had a good time at a particular place and at a particular time. The pixels tell a story.

There’s a reason why the expression goes, pictures paint a thousand words. And what is it that people say? To be seen is to be loved. And isn’t that a want for everyone?

With this incessant want, the camera has now become a welcome intruder in people’s daily lives; taking close shots of intimate moments both good and bad. Many of just hoard captured memories in our phone’s gallery for when we want a brisk walk down memory lane but for others, they view it fit for public consumption.

Births, arguments, celebrations, pranks, deaths - flaws and all. All for entertainment purposes. And as someone who likes to keep a very low profile online and offline, the level of comfort people have to share, commoditise and capitalise off of everyday situations in their lives still confuses me.

But you know what, I watch the content. I click on the pictures and videos and give them views. Literally paying them with my attention.

I find the whole concept fascinating, I can’t lie. And I’d rather them than me, so there’s that too.

Whenever I need a break from whatever is going on in my life, I fall in the comforting laps of reality TV. It’s a guilty pleasure. For a while I was pretty obsessed with Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Housewives of Atlanta, Growing up Hip Hop and any docu-series that involved a celebrity I like, were my kind of shows. On the influencers/ vloggers front, I was an ardent watcher of Youtubers, Lily Singh’s and Latoya Forever’s daily vlogs. And over the last few years I have been into Dubai Bling and Love is Blind (Dubai Edition).

I think these are the kind of shows defined as “trash TV” but they are exactly what I defer to for my escapism. They allow me to leave the pressures of daily living and not judge me but rather encourage me to mind their business.

And it was an evening like this, whilst I was watching a random reality show I had settled on after a while of flicking through the channels and not seeing anything worthy of my attention that someone close to me asked: “Why do you like to watch things like this when it’s obvious they are scripted? No one acts naturally in front of the camera.”

In my response I let them know they should allow me to live in my delusion in peace. But inside me, I knew they were right.

No one wakes up polished but when you have a ring light, camera stand and DJI Osmo Pocket Handheld camera - perhaps you do.

Back when Big Brother UK was on Channel 4, they used to have a late night segment where they just live streamed the contestants from midnight to like 4am, and I would watch them sleep whilst I was battling insomnia. Later when I was a little bit older I read Orwell’s 1984 to really understand the concept of ‘Big Brother’.

Reading the book I realised how a dystopian society that has its citizens under constant surveillance, means people become programmed to be more aware of their surroundings but not of themselves and that is how groupthink ensues.

The camera reveals vulnerabilities. It exposes pores, poor decisions and all round imperfections. We’re human and really, that’s quite normal. But having an object that its presence alone unconsciously restricts our natural ‘human’ ways of being, pressures us to do what we can to control the angles, apply filters if need be and actions become premeditated.

Everything becomes performative. It’s what the camera does. All the world’s a stage.

When we receive positive feedback (likes, comments etc) from pictures and videos, we want to replicate the results. But that is a scary path down the road of feeling compelled to doing things to appease the camera and ignoring the things inside that makes you an individual.

Honestly speaking, I think so many people look the same, sound the same, act the same, dress the same, probably eat the same way too. We’re in the copy and paste era of personalities and physical appearance because the camera is Big Brother. And to be seen is to be loved as we know, but do we love how we’re being seen?

Before I go I want to say, even though the camera is proof that we once existed and it absolutely has its merits, are there other ways we can timestamp our existence? Think. We may not be able to take a picture of oxygen but its presence is clear.

And scene.